Dream Journal #7 – Whales Are Gross

It was almost midnight, and I was leaving my parents’ house barefoot and otherwise quite improperly dressed for the fewfeet of snow on my driveway and street. (Only in a dream.)

I trudged through the snow up what Oak Hillsians call “The Wild Mouse”—a steep and windy road that is uncannily like that obnoxious ride at Lagoon. I was on my way to my friend Bryn’s house, which is in the opposite direction, but for some reason I though taking the long way would be shorter. Halfway through the long way, I turned around.

Suddenly, Bryn was there. Now, Bryn is currently serving a mission in Texas (real life), so it was actually her spirit that appeared. Weird stuff. She accompanied down the Wild Mouse and we arrived at my friend Alicia’s house. Now, in real life, Bryn and Alicia’s backyards connect, so dream Bryn was showing me how to use this shortcut. We went into Alicia’s living room, drew back the curtain, and lo and behold, not an inch beyond the glass at Alicia’s house was the glass window into Bryn’s living room. Her dad was sitting in a squashy armchair, reading a book. I tried to get his attention but failed. “He’s been ignoring me ever since I got married,” I explained to Bryn.

Rather than take the shortcut, I once again decided to go the long way, and I walked out Alicia’s front door. There was a group of people on her driveway very loudly singing/shouting a Primary song and I thought, They are going to wake the whole neighborhood up!

I looked around me and didn’t think twice when Bryn’s spirit was replaced with a decently large group of people, all meandering down Oak Lane together.

When we had almost arrived to Bryn’s house, the sky was instantly brilliantly sunny like July at midday and all of the snow was gone. My tall, gangly, long-haired, blonde walking buddy (who I’m sure exists somewhere in real life) and I marveled. Then he had a sneaky idea—he ran up to the house next to Bryn’s, threw open their shutters (which were on the outside of the house, naturally) and thought he was very clever waking everyone up with the sudden sunshine.

I went on to Bryn’s house (which bears no resemblance to the true thing), and climbed in the window. It wasn’t long before I realized I had snuck into the wrong house. Before I could make my getaway, I heard a yawn from the bedroom that I diagnosed as belonging to an old lady, and it sounded familiar. I was paralyzed in the hallway, trying to decide how to remove myself from this situation. She emerged before I could get away, but I recognized her instantly as my French mom!

I greeted her in terrible French and it became clear that she had lost any ability to speak English. She ushered me into their living room, where her husband and Nathanael were casually chatting.

Nathanael asked Mr. Boissy (my French dad) if he remembered him. In his thick accent he said, “I remember you! You were the one who liked… What was it… Raspberries! You were the one who likes raspberries.”

Nathanael laughed and said yes, he was that guy (does he have a special affinity for raspberries? No.). The Boissys told us some exciting news—they had been called to serve a mission! However, Mr. Boissy didn’t want to leave his new job as owner of a zoo, because he wanted to keep making money. So he was going to do both. (Just FYI, the Boissys are not LDS or zookeepers.)

We were immediately interested in his zoo, and so he took us for a tour.

All of a sudden, were sitting in bleachers at what looked like a football field, but the field part was caged in and housed one extremely large set of monkey bars. All of the animals in the zoo were doing their morning warmups on this one set of bars. They were all climbing over each other—giraffes, lions, foxes, snakes—trying to get through this morning routine. Watching animal after animal climb and slip on one another, I knew a fight was inevitable.

I was watching one particularly gargantuan gorilla do the routine. I analyzed his size as compared to the size of the fence and determined that if he wanted to get over it, it would be no issue. I told Nathanael so, and as my head was turned to say this, we heard a loud electrocution noise and an animal screaming. Whipping my head back to look for what I thought would be the gorilla attempting escape, I was shocked to see three zoo workers pulling a baby elephant (which had been tazed) away by its legs. I was sad and disgusted (I ❤ animals).

Before I could express any outrage, it was time for a sneak peek backstage of a rehearsal. We walked into a building with short, bluish gray carpet and fluorescent lighting. I saw a group of young men practicing a dance, and evidently we had been relocated to Disneyland without a break in my subconscious.

I recognized one of the young men. I was about to tell Nathanael this, when this particular young man was singled out as the dancing rehearsal stopped. He was left alone on the floor and he sat down with his legs folded. The observers gathered in around him and he shared a personal thought.

After that, they brought in the whale.

It was a big, honking thing that was blue on top with a whitish stomach and lots of ridges. This whale started to talk to us about what it was like being a whale. Nathanael and I were on the front row. Evidently the whale really liked Nathanael, because he kept scooting his head closer to Nathanael’s lap and asking if he could rest his head there, like a dog. Nathanael would just laugh and try to scoot away casually. We both kept backing up, but we could only scoot back as far as the people sitting behind us would allow, and soon we ran out of room. That meant the whale’s head ended up on my lap. I slid another inch away. The head was on my lap again, but it was so big that it was nearly crushing my whole body. I started to freak out: “Eeeeew! Eew! Eew! Get off me! Oh my gosh, this is so gross!!!! Nathanael, get the whale off me! Eeew!!!”

La fin. I don’t know if I’ll ever look at a whale the same again.


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