I was at BYU with Nathanael. He needed to print something in the good ole Cougar Copy Center in the basement of the Joseph Fielding Smith Building (aka JFSB aka where I spent 90% of my college career). I walked there by myself to get in line while he wrapped up talking to a professor about something. When I walked up to the counter, the worker was on the phone and said to the person on the other line in a quiet, brisk voice, “Someone is stealing our data. Send police to the JFSB Copy Center,” and then he hung up and told me he’d be with me in a minute. He walked through a doorway into the back room with all of the machinery, and as my eyes followed him I saw another copy center worker sitting at a computer with an obstinate look on his face. There was a young Asian man (I stereotype in my dreams, okay?) sitting next to him—clearly the one in control of the situation—who was whispering threateningly to the worker to enter all the required passwords and put the important data onto the flash drive he had inserted into the computer. He also had earbuds hanging over his ears (just FYI).
Suddenly, I felt a sense of civic duty and fled the scene. I ran into Nathanael and explained that there was a crisis in the Cougar Copy Center because someone was robbing them of their data! Nathanael entered Bruce Wayne mode (as he is wont to do when he senses an injustice) and we returned to the copy center. As we entered, the thief was leaving and I whispered to Nathanael, “That’s him!!!” So he said, “Stop him from leaving. Talk to him.”
Pretend this is Brigham Young University.
I approached the man who wasn’t actually Asian at this moment (he’d like flash back and forth… I don’t know, people. I don’t know.) and I said, “Where do you think you’re goin’??”
He told me he was leaving so I cunningly said, “Oh.”
I then remembered that oftentimes those who commit crimes against schools are the outcasts no one was ever nice to in school. This guy kinda had the whole “outcast” thing down, so I thought maybe a compliment would help.
“I like your shirt,” I told him. (But then I looked closely at his striped shirt, trying to figure out if I really did like it because I wanted to know if I had just lied [Yes, all of these thoughts occur to me in dreams.]).
He said, “Thanks. I like yours too.”
I tried to study his face so I could give a good police sketch later. Okay, he’s got a striped shirt. Angry looking. Asian. Wearing glasses. …That could be ANYONE!
And then he left.
I never found out what happened with that whole incident because THEN the JFSB turned into some freaky Beauty and the Beast theme park ride. This is where the dream gets fuzzy. The JFSB had transformed into a castle, but it still very much looked like the JFSB. Just the castle version. And the ride was a real ride—with people sitting down and everything—but the Beast from Beauty and the Beast was actually in there and lived in that castle. It was one of those things where occasionally the citizens would send their strongest man into the castle to try to kill the Beast, but no one had succeeded yet. So I guess during the ride you had the option to get off and challenge the Beast?
Anyway, so I was on this ride and I got off with a guy who looked like the grown-up version of the boy from The Sword in the Stone. He was going to go attempt to kill the beast and I was his sidekick of sorts. Evidently, if you killed the Beast you received a large dagger (which had some mystical powers, naturally). Sword-in-the-Stone Guy walked up to the Beast’s lair and loudly proclaimed to his intentions to kill him and win the magic dagger. Out of the shadows, Maleficent grabbed SITSG (Sword-in-the-Stone Guy) and pinned one of his arms behind his back. Disney villain duo!!!
The Beast approached him and said, “I will give you the dagger right now and you can try to kill me with it. But you WILL. FAIL.“
So he dangled the dagger over this kid and was going to drop it into his hand. With his free arm, SITSG reached up to grab it. As soon as his skin touched the hilt, he unexpectedly swung his arm around and thrust the dagger into Maleficent’s heart, pulled out a sword he had somehow hidden, and sliced the Beast in the stomach. All in a matter of milliseconds. (That sounds graphic. But my mind didn’t even picture blood and guts or anything.)
The Beast keeled over and I thought he was a goner. SITSG (Sword-in-the-Stone Guy) chopped off Maleficent’s head (again, gore-free) and walked over the the Beast with the same intention. He raised the sword high above his head and pulled it down through the air where it collided with the Beast’s neck with a huge CLANG! Evidently, the Beast’s neck was made of steel.
The Beast started to get up and SITSG started running (at this point it was as if I were watching a movie, and not actually there). The castle walls started crumbling—gargoyles and molding and stones started falling. I knew that SITSG could not get out alive, but was hoping that the castle would crush the Beast. Immediately after that thought, a huge piece of castle wall started making its gravity-induced plummet right toward the Beast. He dodged it though, and it flattened his foot instead (it was literally flattened like in a cartoon).
And thus endeth the dream.
I never got a resolution for either of those stories. Maybe tonight!